Sunday

We left church early that day because he became ill. He needed to vomit so I rushed him into the toilets near the side of the basilica. I had tears in my eyes because I knew he was in so much pain. I imagined that it felt like having the worst flu of your life, every day. In Constant agony.

I ran to the side doors of the church, peaked my head in and motioned to mom that I was taking him home. I guided his frail body outside into the crisp winter air. His muscles didn't tense as I would have imagined. They must not have been strong enough to react to the piercing cold. But I can tell in his face that it was brutal. I took him slowly step-by-step along the sidewalk towards the car. He stopped every now and then to reorientate and assess his situation. 

I helped him into the car and he made wincing motions with his face. I knew that he was getting shooting pains in his hips, stomach, and chest as he contorted his body to get into the front seat. I didn't speak on the drive home because he told me he wanted quiet. Any sound at all was irritating and added to the pain. It was only a short drive home, just a few blocks. But he knew that didn't make a difference. The pain would still be there, following him wherever he went.

Again he winced as I helped him exit the car to get out of the cold and back into the house. It was straight to the toilet where I heard horrible sounds as he heaved and then moaned at the sharp pains spiking through his abdomen. I asked him what I could do, but he assured me nothing. I think he just wanted to be alone with his mind and his body as people often do when they become ill.

I sat there thinking; thinking about the situation he was in and what I was witnessing. There was my light shining bright and full. I could sense his, dim and fading. I cried to myself thinking about the pain he was enduring and the thoughts racing through his mind about his life up until that moment. Once, so invincible and now years later cowering down to a sickness overtaking his body. Trying to fight but getting knocked down at every chance.